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*23-5-1988, Auroville:
I knew it was high time for me to make some show of authority at “Ravena”,
however inadequate I usually feel in this kind of situation; I took the opportunity
that J was on leave today, to “seriously” talk to the others, with Shano’s help to
translate… And as a result, everyone this afternoon was working with renewed
conviction and energy… I guess I must take like as it is, and not expect from people
more than what they are ready to give…
… I needed to have a break from the daily routine of the relationship with Ar., the
daily obligation of it, and from the circle of her emotional involvement: I brought
her some fruit and requested her to meet on Friday only. She cried. But I believe
that, way down, she understood…
… It is so mysterious how I feel more at home with N’s substance – except for
those times when he has dropped into a sort of unconsciousness, or is just
awakening from sleep, or has fallen “sick”, when his mere presence becomes
actively negative; I am also wary of a sort of duplicity in him; and yet I still trust
him, and his attachment to me…
*26-5-1988, Auroville:
B and Akash have temporarily moved to another place while their house here is
being re-built. Today the work started, with removing the old thatch roof, and I put
N there to coordinate and supervise.
*30-5-1988, Auroville:
After the work today I went to Matrimandir to help with the preparations for the big
concreting of the large RCC cap-slab in a couple of days. Su joined me there after
dinner; there were only people I was glad to work with, Ramalingam and his team,
John H and the workshop boys, and Gopal, and Narayana, and there was this family
feeling I’d been missing… Yet it was too long since I had been exposed to that
energy and it threw me a little off…
… I received a letter from J.Y’s lady-friend, Patricia, announcing her arrival in a
week’ time and a letter from JF.D announcing his and his friend’s arrivals in a
month time…
*2-6-1988, Auroville:
The concreting started at about 4 pm yesterday. I had not planned to be there all
through, but the energy was reaching so strongly that it was easier to stay there
than not; I only took a break between 10 pm and 1 am; struggling to rest, I had a
very puzzling experience: I suddenly entered another space and found myself sort
of visiting a vast building that had been made in Your atmosphere, by one of Your
children, as a housing-complex, a multi-storeyed apartment building, completely
harmonious and serene and clean and warmly cared for, with lots of wood and
brass, and clear and simple lines and much individual space and common halls…
and this stayed with me as a demonstration of the power of true consciousness, its
natural radiating power, of exactness, of harmony, of wholeness…
I worked at Matrimandir again from 1.30 am till the end at 1O this morning,
replacing John H at the mixer-machine; Su had also come back to help eventually,
and we finished together…