842 / 1424
842
*12-4-1989, Auroville:
I wrote a note this morning to the Auroville Council, through Janet, asking that
someone be found to take proper care of “Ravena”, and explaining why…
*22-4-1989, Auroville:
I would never be able to constantly live with people, even the dearest ones…!
Because of our physical constitution, the body’ needs – mostly food, and the
preparation and the partaking of it – become so prominent and sort of compulsory
occasions, which I find extremely difficult to turn into conscious moments… And
these days, since I am back at Matrimandir, I have perforce to hear so much talk:
people there are so incontinent that one may wonder whether there can be
humanity without noise…!
… I gather that very recently, within the last few weeks, in several countries
including India, the same experiment has been conducted in various laboratories:
passing an electric current through a bottle filled with heavy water – palladium
mostly, I think – an enormous amount of energy is released: this would herald a
momentous revolution: freedom from so many bondages, and energy available to
all…
*24-4-1989, Auroville:
E.B has written that she wants to be accepted back into the Ashram if she will wash
the dishes in the Dining Room – it seems that was the condition put to her at some
earlier time; I’ll pass her letter on to Maggi.
… The work in the Chamber with JYL every morning goes well; You know how I feel
about him; it isn’t going to be easy to have to part from him again. But perhaps
You’ll bring him back here very soon; I see that he has a lot to go through in his
physical consciousness, and my impression is that it will be easier, quieter and less
dramatic if he can be here… But how do I know what is best, in Your terms, for
anyone, even for me…?
… R has given me several books and reviews to read that are on or related to AIDS;
his son has been contaminated, and he himself is deeply involved into the research.
But I can’t read that language; I feel more and more like an imbecile: whatever has
to go through the mind, or rather whatever comes from people’ minds or from the
general mental milieu makes me go blank, frozen… It has to come from above or
from within, and then the mind can function, in its place…
*25-4-1989, Auroville:
I just learnt this morning that Juergen was killed instantly, yesterday, on his
scooter, driving into “Auro Brindavan”… I feel for him…
*26-4-1989, Auroville:
I am puzzled by the apparent impossibility there is to remain aware of and
committed to some conscious process of evolution when in the midst of a
“domestic” scene; so much time is spent on meals, and haphazard comments,
mechanical expressions and motions; but what I find most hampering or crippling is
the habit, the wanted and necessary habit of being “me”, a recognisable and
familiar identity to which others will “naturally” turn… It strikes me as being one of