134 292
JayMerill
134
Exciting things, important
things, new things,
me
things. This is what I really
resented about being
there in this house with
these friends, so called.
I’d been especially nervous
since May the 9
th
, which
is my birthday. Everyone
in the house bought me
a present and they came
into the kitchen en masse
to present me with their
offerings. I was forced
to do overtime with the
smile and act the part of
prince bloody charming
the whole evening. Aggie
and Steven got me an
exotic plant, which had
a look about it as though
it would droop and die if
it didn’t get the correct
amount of water and
plant food on a daily basis.
Blake gave me this retro
watch because he knew
my existing watch was
broken. God only knows
what the thing cost. Of
course, I felt guilty. Glea’s
gift was a fancy cookbook
with lots of pictures, which
I took as a kind of hint
to join in more with the
house cooking sprees she
was keen on developing.
Noisy gave me a bottle of
Scotch. I just need to say
this. When friends give
you a present what d’you
think
that’s
about? Well,
it’s control with a capital C.
They pretend it’s all lovely-
jubbly and shows they’re
thinking about you. But
it’s quite the other way
round. Because every time
you see that gift in front of
your eyes you think of the
friend. Which is precisely
what you’re meant to do!
It’s the way they invade
you; make you think of
them. Talk about tyranny.
I’m glad I’ve been able to