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All the voices
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pinpoint exactly what was
wrong with the situation
in the house. I needed
to clear my head on this
because sometimes, just
sometimes I’ve had the
cloudy thought that it
wasn’treallysobad. Imean,
nobody bothered me that
much so long as I didn’t go
anywhere near the sitting
room and didn’t engage
in the stupid crap they
talked. Plus the rent was
cheap. I mean the house
was practically a hovel and
the rent reflected that. But
no, all that was by the by.
Those advantages were
just negatives. Everything
positive pointed to the
door and me going out of
it for good. And I was glad
I’d arrived at seeing this.
I looked at that crumby
door with a new respect
as I came into it nowadays.
The door was the means
of escape.
A background thought: I
just want to look at the way
you start off in life. Let’s call
it a journey, for the sake of
argument.
Life’s journey.
Though personally I’m
not so keen on that type
of language. It’s a little
on the sentimental side
for my liking, but still.
Anyway, you start off. And
you hear the words of your
socialisers in your ears
straight away, before you
even know what words
are. Plus there are sounds
and looks and gestures.
And these are pumped
right into you. You take
them in because there is
hardly anything else. Well
nothing else, or nothing
else you’re aware of. And
it takes quite a while
before something inside
you says,
No
, that’s not the
way I am at all. And you
don’t even know what you
mean when you say these