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pond and the bunds not neat anymore; then C.E turns to me, I answer to him, we
join our steps and enter time together as in a dance, faithful to our bond and
moving forward even when all seems grey and unpromising…
*23-6-1979, Auroville:
… Both P.G and G.M have liked, and agreed to the draft I have made of a letter to
Madanlal.
At tea-break, Th sits with me and talks and talks; he is full of hope now; I remind
him we have to go one step at a time and choose only and always those points we
canal agree upon… He seems to understand…
I aspire to open to a perception for which no veils and no guises exist, a perception
that sees and knows directly without words; it is there, I am certain of it,
somewhere above or within… Oh! To move and act in the freedom of it, to say or do
only what needs to be said or done…!
These days there seem to be only twisted movements all around, nothing comes
straight, nothing is honest, nothing is simple, and nothing is calm… But we can still
laugh!
*24-6-1979, Auroville:
Joss came here this afternoon, needing to talk and looking for help, perhaps from
the Guard… There have been lots of incidents of harassment lately, strange thefts
have taken place in and around “Certitude” and, a few days ago Christiane, who
stays at his place, was attacked in the night by a very weird man, and was taken to
the hospital with a broken jaw… P.G joins us… It is difficult to discern an action we
could commit to, we are so scattered physically, over the entire area of Auroville,
and there is so much disunity among us all; the police is corrupt… Yet one cannot
just seek a “spiritual” answer, something has to be manifested, expressed,
materialised… But I’m not even able to realise what exactly we are dealing with…
The ideal You have set before of us seems to be deprived of its power by the very
limitations of our nature, by the refusal to lead a disciplined life, by the absence of
some very basic commitments…
… I still get trapped sometimes by the power C.E has over me, because I am so
attached to his presence, he has grown so dear to me and I have come to rely so
much upon the relationship we have established that, at times – too often – I
compromise and seek to appease; and then I feel dishonest with myself and I loose
my balance…
*25-6-1979, Auroville:
Early this morning, Miriam arrived! She’d packed an auto-rickshaw with all her
things, left “Golconde” and decided to move in here with us – she hadn’t said a
thing about it!
… G.M has insisted that I should attend the meeting of the “5” at Matrimandir…
Finally I accepted, seeing it as an opportunity to obtain a wider and more
substantial agreement among us… G.M, Bill S, D.S, Ruud, Piero, P.G and I gather in
the office. Ruud and D.S had wanted to rush and get the steel and move ahead
with the work; P.G, G.M and I had to repeat over and over again that “yes” does
not mean to run blindly and forego of our discernment… I read my draft for
Madanlal, everyone is ready to sign it now, except Ruud and D.S who say they still