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212

I say that I completely agree but that we must move step by step, not calling

resistance by being too demanding and trusting that ultimately, and perhaps sooner

than we think, we would all reach that point…

*28-6-1979, Auroville:

After hearing our presentation, done mainly by Ruud and G.M, the general meeting

asked that, as a further step in clarity, the SAS be requested to issue an open

statement acknowledging Auroville’s right to be sponsored by other agencies as

well…

Later, John H comes to tell me that Ruud and Th are very unhappy with what they

see as another delay and blockage and that they intend to come and speak to me…

But they don’t. Instead, in the evening, it is Al.M who comes to meet P.G, G.M and

I, as a representative of “Aspiration”, to tell us how uneasy they feel over there at

our position here at Matrimandir… So, once more, we are in the middle… Al.M acts

very fraternal and listens and seems to assimilate some of what we try to explain to

him, but… I don’t know! It is tiring!

*29-6-1979, Auroville:

This morning as we were assembling our teams for the work, Ruud arrived very

happy and positive. He expressed beautifully how he has reached a point where it is

no longer the steel that matters, not even the construction, but a consciousness, an

awareness that has been growing in us all and would eventually enable us to touch

the true Auroville… And in our afternoon meeting at the office he again talks quietly

about this psychic sense of trust, openness and mutual support, of the breaking of

many formations and judgements and fears, and that this is the process that

matters, out of which the way may open for us…

When we disperse in the evening, D.S comes to me; he tells me that, sometime

back, Kishorilal had fallen very ill, without any tangible cause, and had called him to

talk, to say that he felt this illness was not physically caused but was due to his

acute sense of guilt, and that he knew it had to do with Auroville and his own

relation to You; and that he’d asked whether anything could be done to heal it… At

the time D.S was himself feeling too negative towards the Aurovilians and could see

no opening for a resolution but, later, as we here came together, he had felt as if

light had come and had told Kishorilal about it; and that was how, when he and

Ruud had gone to him this time, Kishorilal had been ready to make a step. And now

D.S was hopeful he could go back to him with our request for further clarity..

*30-6-1979, Auroville:

Al.B came today, back from Delhi, with Kashmiri cherries, fresh and sweet. I was

happy and moved that he had wanted to come here right away upon his return. A

lot has happened here while he was away and he too has a lot to share of his

experience there. He talks of the evidence he has found that there is NO change in

Navajata’s position and intent, on the contrary; and how, more seriously, Navajata

has been instrumental in the fall of Indira Gandhi… I tell him where I think things

stand at the moment… The communication is good and I feel even more that we

are friends, concerned with a path that is real…

DOUCE MERE