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*21-5-1985, Auroville:
Anurakta’s reply is very gentle, spiritually very kind, but I do not think it bears the
stamp of an answer coming from You… It says that I must be here and help bring
peace into the soil of Auroville…!
… My nerves are much weakened again; I feel constantly that I am pushing my
limits, a step at a time, before me; I have another bout of haemorrhoids, and
allergies… Whatever I may have developed, acquired, or realised appears to be fully
engaged in providing me with the bare endurance I need. There seems to be no
margin left.
… I have decided that if, by tomorrow, no reply has come from Diane, I shall post
my statement, and… “Advienne que pourra!”…
I need no help from anyone to conduct my self-examination… but I do need help to
find my princess again!
*23-5-1985, Auroville:
Diane has not replied.
This morning I posted my statement, and gave several copies of it to the
Messenger.
… Today is D.M’s birthday: Auralice, Johnny and I symbolically marked the house
on the ground.
… This evening I received a message from Jane, of “Fertile”: “I trust you, I believe
you…” How sweet!
I want to see it through, this time!
(This is my statement: “TO ALL: A PERSONAL CALL. 20-5-1985.
I can say that I know now, through experience, how a minority, any minority in
any grouping, can be driven to acts and attitudes that are more and more wrong,
desperate and detrimental and, by so doing, justify more and more the group’s
initial rejection, too often based on its mere inability to accept and to embrace
difference. I know that it takes an extraordinary strength not to get overpowered
by this process.
It is, in all human history, the exclusivism and the incapacity to accept difference
that has caused the most of all misery, and still does.
People in Auroville make grave confusions.
It is one thing, and a necessity at this early stage, to offer guidelines and lay down
a few basic rules and to expect everyone to respect them, but it is quite another
thing to actively exclude any person on the mere basis of difference, subjective
feelings, or whether or not this person fits into the superficial consensus reality of
the group.
I believe there is only one exclusivism that a human being is justified in cultivating,
and that is, for each individual, to want to be ‘exclusively under the influence of the
Divine’.
But today we have groups and clans, stands and positions; or else we have
complicity, always using ‘others’ and ‘they’ to reinforce it. Yet if we look within, I
am sure that we all find that none of this is it, and that it all leaves a taste of ashes.
I wish here to bring forward my own example of what exclusivism, wrongly-based,
does and can do; to do so, I have to share what can be taken as ‘personal’
elements. But we should know there is no such distinction as we still make it in the
reality that calls us.