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*2-7-1985, Auroville:
Soaz related to me what she’s been told about me lately: that I am next on the list
after Taï, and that I am generally responsible for the illnesses in Auroville, and in
particular for the still birth of M.H’s baby last year…
*10-7-1985, Auroville:
Ar. tells me that Namas has been diagnosed as having skin cancer.
*11-7-1985, Auroville:
Ar. had gone to “Pour Tous” this morning, to deposit some money – she and I have
been receiving and distributing the baskets for “Sincerity” for quite some time now
-; she returned with the news that, while she was there, she had been handed a
letter by Christine, which read: “We do not want to work for Divakar anymore.”…
So there it is again. No more “Pour Tous” basket for me…!
Somehow it still comes as a surprise! What is it that is working in them so
constantly and so intensely? I don’t know! I myself tend to forget, and to
concentrate on the daily experience, in all its aspects…
Ar. now says she intends to bring it up at a general meeting, as this is the main
Service being cut for me and such a step cannot be taken without a general
agreement…
The question rises again: should I leave, or must I fight?
… This afternoon we started the foundation work for D.M’s house, and the workers
were singing all the time…!
*13-7-1985, Auroville:
We hear today that there is to be no general meeting for at least two weeks; that
the Executive Council is practically disbanded, as most of its members are in Delhi;
and that Diane plans to take over the distribution Service in “Pour Tous”, replacing
Christine who wishes to stop… There.
… The usual throes. But then I put it all back in the Lord’s hands!
I shall not interfere, but just watch and offer my ego-sense, and see the way You
give me to walk on, wherever it may go…
But my nerves are not improving…
And today I heard another story about me: I am supposed to have possessed a
Tamil lady and occultly manipulated her so that she would go and take Auragni
away; she was discovered “in a trance” by MH and Michel near the “Aspiration”
kitchen…!
… And I found a snake inside the room here…!
… I have been reading a novel on the situation in present day Lebanon: all these
exclusivisms at play, this endless fragmentation, bloodier and bloodier, till… what?
Till every human being alive on this earth must review their assumptions on each
and every issue…?
*14-7-1985, Auroville:
Résultat apparent : Jossie, P et Ar. se retirent de « Pour Tous », c’est-à-dire que
chacun ira désormais faire ses propres courses… Ar. veut mettre une note
d’information sur le cahier du Messager…
… Je trouve un second serpent dans la maison…