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… After the work at “Ravena”, I took C for a walk into the canyons… There and
then, as if in response to my need for a tangible support, an incarnation, something
of You became concrete: Your eyes of light, Your physical presence, and… our true
relationship; and it did not come as a striking “experience” between moments; I
only realised, slowly almost, that it was there, that it IS there, and that it is real, it
IS You and it IS me…
And then it seems quite possible to change, to grow, to walk Your way, to become…
*17-1-1986, Auroville:
N came to have breakfast with us here this morning; D.M has been asking for fresh
goat milk, daily; so this is one more task to be achieved now! How to get a milch
goat over to “Ravena”, how to look after it and feed it and… milk it…!
I received a letter from Pnina today: it is not easy in Jerusalem…!
… I am reading the book R’s father, Arnault Tzanck, had written years ago in the
40s, “La Conscience Créatrice”: this man made a beautiful offering… He would have
loved You so much! He was so isolated, in those years, as a scientist and en
eminent researcher, and yet he needed to offer a true basis for further evolution,
all by himself, with only his own perceptions to guide him; and he managed to
express quite a bit of what the Two of You have said, hoping and perhaps believing
he would meet with some understanding. But, as much as he was celebrated as a
scientist and discoverer, he was scorned for this most essential attempt, which
remained ignored to this day…
*19-1-1986, Auroville:
Dimanche… C, R et moi sommes restés un long moment paisible sous l’arbre de
Service… Puis G.M est venu, bientôt suivi de M, plus odieuse que jamais envers lui…
J’ai un peu de mal à ne pas lui en vouloir d’avoir férocement imposé ce drame
constant, particulièrement maintenant qu’il eut été plus normal et naturel de
respecter l’espace de l’amitié entre G.M et moi, avant son départ… Lui, est mieux
centré, à présent qu’il est presque délivré de cette situation impossible… ! Il part
mardi… ; pendant au moins 6 mois : une énorme distance de temps, en termes de
progrès, de passages…
*20-1-1986, Auroville :
Après le travail à « Ravena », j’ai emmené Samuel avec moi à la recherche, dans le
village, d’une chèvre laitière… ! D.M m’a encore écrit aujourd’hui, me disant comme
elle est misérable dans son corps, et me demandant de prier pour elle…
Je ne sais pas, Douce Mère ; mais Toi, Tu sais…
Montre-lui, Douce Mère !
Montre-nous le Vrai, le Corps de Ca… !
… G.M s’en va demain… Tout le monde bouge et se déplace… et je suis là ! Tu sais!
*23-1-1986, Auroville:
Your Agenda, Mother, is so incredibly precious! It is truly like the purest of milks!
I love you, Mother!
That much I know is true!