582 / 1424
582
In this life I have long felt that, in human terms, it is as if I have no destiny. And
this is not easy.
But I have a true destiny, in the sense of a function which I must unite with, a
manifestation of the Presence… And this is in the Lord’s hands!
… Today, fleetingly, I saw my own true physical self: my face, in profile, and the
top of my body; almost the same features, nearly the same eyes, but full, a
contained strength, a wholesomeness…
*2-9-1985, Auroville:
Nous avons fini de nettoyer et briquer la maison de C pour que M puisse y habiter
un certain temps… Je suis frappé par l’honnêteté de cet être ; dans la difficulté, elle
manifeste ce besoin de comprendre et de se donner, de progresser ; j’ai rarement
vu quelqu’un se débarrasser de ses gangues aussi rapidement…
*5-9-1985, Auroville:
Both Ar. and M have seen my little one, while at the dentist: she was with Coco,
Rakhal and their child; they tell me she is well, and looks lovely, and is very
articulate…
*12-9-1985, Auroville:
One of my dreams last night was most strangely difficult: I am looking after a
group of infants, 1 or 2 years old, and I take them to swim in the ocean; but there
are too many of them, perhaps 6 of them, and there are under-currents that are
too strong and carry them away, and they all drown; I can only pick one up and
swim hard to carry him back to the shore alive; but then I cannot accept that the
other 5 have drowned; I can’t take it; I walk and walk along the shore, till the tide
begins to bring them back and I see them, the little ones, and pluck them out of
the waves and hold them with their heads down, trusting their bodies, shaking
them; and one by one, they revive, all of them…
*19-9-1985, Auroville:
Ce soir G.M me parlait des dernières « idées » de Piero à propos de la couverture
pour la sphère du Matrimandir… Mon impression est qu’il faut absolument que la
sphère soit simple et forte, sans aucun « effet » ajouté ; il faut que ce soit Ton
endroit, pour que Tu puisses y travailler…
*20-9-1985, Auroville :
Il y a quelque chose en moi qui appelle, quelque chose de profond, et de blessé qui
appelle, et à la surface cela laisse une tristesse et une brûlure…
… All day, and especially this afternoon and this evening, there is an inner flow,
with the potential of an intense sadness, as an expression, or a misinterpretation of
the opacity that remains between That, its Presence within, and its tangibility to the
body – particularly in relation to people, to others: the superficiality of what goes
on between separate beings becomes so… inadequate, and so noisy, so messy…
Even when it is calm, it is still asserting itself, thick and obtrusive, eating away time
and space, not knowing how to yield, how to give way…