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*16-3-1989, Auroville:
It is interesting to do several types of work in the course of one day. Now the daily
rhythm seems to be: organise the day’ work at Janet’s; from 9 am to 1 pm at
Matrimandir; a moment of rest and reading after lunch; back to Janet’s; work here
late afternoon; evening, some drawing or painting, and asanas or a cycle ride…
Today in the Chamber U didn’t come, but Yan offered to work with me; he is also a
quiet fellow, able to concentrate and be simple about it… I am learning the tricks of
this trade: marble-laying…
*18-3-1989, Auroville:
At such times when the physical mind is particularly energised, I have found that
the only discipline I am able to practice more and more constantly in the waking
state is to keep orienting it actively, turning it into an active meditation, making
use of any element that comes in to perfect and elaborate its attunement to the
consciousness above and within; it is a constructive practice; it requires no
negative effort of rejection or struggle…
… Today both U and Yan were there, and Agnes also asked to join, so we made a
foursome, working from both ends of one row, and it went smoothly… It looks like
I’m going to do this for some time; and if any breakthrough occurs regarding the
outer structure – the extension of the four pillars for instance -, I can probably find
my way to contribute there as well, I hope with Ramalingam’s team…
… Douce Mère, make me grow; it’s like only now I am having a glimpse of the way,
and I feel like a baby, wanting to walk and stumbling and rising again and loosing
grip and finding Your hand, forgetting and remembering and taking a first run and
crashing, and still trusting… with gratitude…
*19-3-1989, Auroville:
I have finished reading the true story and records of a number of women who were
prisoners in the Japanese Camp of Sumatra, from the fall of Singapore till after the
end of the war, and survived. To think that, just on the other shore of this small
ocean, the Two of You were here, waging the great battle for the evolution upon
earth…!
… I have just prepared dinner for Su; there is a “problem” on the way…: it is hard
for her to adapt her own needs to my semi-withdrawn way of life; and I have little
interest in what all makes a “relationship”, to the extent that sometimes her energy
can bore me to instant exhaustion; I must try to let her feel on what level there can
be a basic sharing, or in what mode, but I don’t know… This may be mainly a
matter of reliance: that she hasn’t yet learned to find her own centre…?
*21-3-1989, Auroville:
Krishna is back from Delhi. We found each other in town; he was just off the bus
from the airport. The Moroccan people promised to send him a new passport within
a month; he had to struggle through a strange of evasion on the part of the few
men who were still posted in Delhi, isolated and with no real function since India
has cut diplomatic ties with Morocco; they first pretended that they had no
instructions concerning him, and he let them play it their way, until they turned to
him in a different fashion and began to show some respect and wonder at his actual
experience in and of India… On the whole, he isn’t too unhappy about it…